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Yeah Jeff is still a Joke.....
I know this is not a Nascar Joke,
but it sure is funny....
A
blonde and a brunette are sitting in a bar and watching the 11:00 P.M. news. A man is standing on the ledge of a high-rise
building, contemplating suicide.
The brunette says to the blonde: "I'll bet you $20.00 that the man jumps off that
building and commits suicide."
The blonde thinks for a moment then replies: "OK, you're on!"
They watch for
a few minutes and sure enough, the man jumps off the ledge. The blonde sighs and reaches for her wallet, but the brunette
stops her, saying: "I can't take your money - I feel too guilty. I have to confess that I watched the 6:00 P.M. news this
evening and I knew that the man would jump.
The blonde replied: "Oh! I watched the 6:00 P.M. news too, but I didn't
think he'd jump off again!"
Jeff Gordon is visiting a school. In one
class, he asks the students if anyone can give him an example of a "tragedy". One little boy stands up and offers that "If
my best friend who lives next door was playing in the street when a car came along and killed him, that would be a tragedy."
"No,"
Gordo says, "That would be an ACCIDENT."
A girl raises her hand. "If a school bus carrying fifty children drove off a cliff,
killing everyone involved... that would be a tragedy."
"I'm afraid not," explains The WonderBoy. "That is what we would
call a GREAT LOSS."
The room is silent; none of the other children volunteer. "What?" asks The Rainbow Warrior, "Isn't
there any one here who can give me an example of a tragedy?"
Finally, a boy in the back raises his hand. In a timid voice,
he speaks: "If an airplane carrying Geoff Bodine, Jimmy Spencer and Jeff Gordon were blown up by a bomb, *that* would be a
tragedy."
"Wonderful!" Gordon beams. "Marvelous! And can you tell me WHY that would be a tragedy?"
"Well," says the
boy, "because it wouldn't be a accident, and it certainly would be no great loss!"
How can you tell when a Gordon is going to say something intelligent?
He starts out with "Dale Earnhardt said......"
Did you hear that Rusty Wallace has a new sponsor next year?
The sponsor will be Puffs PLUS. What happened when Jeff Gordon locked his keys in the car?
It took him a half an hour to get Brooke out.
Q: What do NASCAR and Monica Lewinsky's dress have in
common?
A: Dick Trickle.
Did you hear why Derrick Cope gave up his sponsorship
from Skittles?
He Said he just didn't like to deal with Skittles, Sure they
taste good but "they sure is hard to peel"
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